Operation goodbye Bella, hello Edward!
by bellapouts
Summary: Jessica is throwing her eighteenth birthday party, and Bella and Edward are forced to go by Alice. But Lauren Mallory is up to her old tricks, and has commenced a plan to win over Edward and rid herself of Bella - for good. Can the gang stop her?
1. Chapter 1

**BPOV**

When Edward, Alice and I arrived at school on Monday, everyone was chatting excitedly. The most exciting things that ever happened at Forks High were broken bones, and the principal forgetting to put her wig on, which happened quite regularly.

"What's going on?" I asked Jessica, as she approached me holding bright pink fliers.

"It's my eighteenth this Saturday, remember? I've only been going on about it all year!" she grinned, handing us all fliers.

"Oh, yeah, that's right," I mumbled, trying to show enthusiasm.

"The principal gave me permission to have my party here!" she exclaimed. "But I have to pay for drinks and what not."

"That's great!" I said, trying to act happy. Jessica beamed.

"So I'll see you all here this Saturday, right?" she asked Alice. Alice grinned.

"Of course you will!"

I groaned silently and exchanged a glance with Edward. As Jessica ran off to give fliers to Mike, I turned to Alice angrily.

"Alice!" I groaned. She smiled.

"Don't be like that, Bella. You know Jessica. She'd want a really good excuse for you to weasel your way out of this, you know. And besides, who wants to miss a party?"

"Me," I muttered. She laughed.

"Don't worry about it. All you have to do is get me to dress you, and then Edward can drive us there," she explained. I poked my tongue out at her.

"Too bad _you_ don't have a date!" I pointed out.

Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett had to pretend that they were at college, when, really, they were hiding in the Cullen household. Alice's face fell.

"That won't matter. No one will care, anyway. Edward can be my date."

Edward frowned.

"No, I've already got a date. Her name is Bella," he chuckled. Alice rolled her eyes.

The bell rang, and Alice flashed her teeth at me before running over to her biology class. Edward and I followed Jessica to Trig. She was chatting to Lauren about how much money her mother was spending on the party.

Edward and I took our seats behind Lauren and Jessica.

"Are the Cullen's going?" asked Lauren. Jessica nodded. They were unaware that Edward and I were eavesdropping.

"Good. I'll have the chance to convince Edward to go with me," laughed Lauren. Edward raised one perfect eyebrow questioningly.

"What about Bella? He's probably taking her," sighed Jessica. "As usual."

"That's okay. I can handle Bella," said Lauren. She laughed loudly as if it were a joke.

I gulped. I'd experienced the wrath of Lauren before, when she had thought that Tyler was taking me to prom. Edward squeezed my hand gently.

"It's nothing to be worried about," he whispered to me.

"I wonder what Alice Cullen will be wearing," sighed Jessica. "There's no _way_ that I'm going to let that little _freak_ look better than _me_ at my own birthday party."

"We've both got our missions then. Mine, to get Edward as a date for your party, yours, to top Alice Cullen's clothes," said Lauren. Jessica sighed again.

"If only it were that easy," she said to Lauren, as the teacher lapsed into the lesson that I had already done in Phoenix. I looked over at Edward, trying to read his unreadable face, but, as usual, he expressed no emotion.

I glared through Lauren's back. She had a piece of paper out, and was scrawling things down. I got a glimpse of the words 'operation' and 'Edward'. Whatever she was doing wasn't going to benefit _me _in any way.

"Good plan!" giggled Jessica, looking over Lauren's paper. "If only _I _had a hot date!"

"I know," agreed Lauren. "Even _Eric's _got a date! Who would want to be that greasy haired thing's date?"

Jessica giggled.

"Katie Marshall, apparently!"

I rolled my eyes.

-

After school, Alice convinced Edward to take us to the mall. When we arrived, we spotted Lauren coming out of Victoria's Secret. She pranced over to Edward batting her eyelashes. Her arms were laden with bags.

"Hi Edward," she greeted, not looking at Alice or me. "That shirt looks damn sexy on you!"

I rolled my eyes.

"Really? It was a present from Bella," replied Edward, coolly. Lauren grimaced and scowled at me.

"Oh, right. Hi _Isabella_," she scowled. Anyone who knew me knew that I hated that name. Two could play at that game.

"I finally managed to convince Edward to accompany me into the lingerie department! For one… special condition," I said. I giggled a very girly giggle. Lauren scowled.

"Well, I was just stocking up for Jessica's party," she said. She turned to Edward. "It's such a shame that I haven't been able to find a date yet."

"I hear Eric Yorkie's free," suggested Alice. Lauren looked disgusted.

"Um… no thanks. Who's _your _date, then?" she asked rather rudely. Alice shrugged.

"I don't know. I wouldn't _dream _of cheating on Jasper. If only he were here," she said, winking at me from the corner of her eye.

"Well, I've got to go and meet up with Jessica to commence operation… um… yeah, bye Edward. _Isabella."_

I didn't like the way she hissed my name. I shuddered as she stormed off.

**JESSICA POV**

Lauren seemed to be doing a good job with Edward. I sighed. I was so jealous. Lauren walked over to me and I jumped out from behind the trashcan.

"How did it go?" I demanded. Lauren shrugged.

"Smoothly."

"I bet Bella was jealous," I sighed. Lauren laughed.

"You should have seen her face. She looked like a little kid on Christmas Day with no presents."

I laughed. I could imagine that.

"Did you get what I wanted?" I demanded, indicating her shopping bags. She smiled.

"You're all set. Don't worry about a thing. You remember my condition? I helped you, so now you've got to help _me_," she reminded me. I grinned.

"Whatever, so long as I have Alice Cullen looking at my clothes and bawling."

"Okay, then we commence operation goodbye Bella, hello Edward," she grinned, clapping her hands together.

-

**Okay, there you go! Happy reading, anyways. Jessica and Lauren are so evil! I had fun writing this chapter. Evilness is my talent, I guess. Anyway, review!**

x

**-Bellapouts**


	2. Chapter 2

**BPOV**

Charlie was down at Sue Clearwater's place for tea, and Edward had prepared me a nice meal of mushroom ravioli.

I was in the middle of eating when I heard a loud knock at the door. Edward growled under his breath as he went to answer it. The door opened and Lauren Mallory strolled in, Jessica hot on her heels.

"Hi, Edward."

Lauren was wearing an exposing lime green tank top and white short shorts.

"Lauren," grumbled Edward.

"You've got the most _beautiful _house, Edward. If only the doctor had adopted _me_," said Lauren. Jessica laughed for no reason.

"What exactly are you doing here?" asked Edward. Lauren sighed and tossed her hair over her shoulders.

"I was looking for Alice. Is she here?"

"Hi!" grinned Alice, jumping into view. Lauren smiled fakely.

"I need to use the bathroom," announced Lauren.

"Oh, are we going? But we haven't…" began Jessica. Lauren shot her a warning glance.

"I'm sure _Edward _wouldn't mind me using the bathroom _here_."

"You can't!" said Alice, smiling. "Emmett smashed the toilet to um… make way for a new one. Try the one in Edward's room."

Edward's _room? _Was Alice out of her _mind_?

**LAUREN POV**

I walked through the open door of Edward's room and sighed in appreciation. It was the most beautiful room I had ever seen. I walked over to his table where there was a picture of him and Bella at prom. I snatched the photo and threw it out the window. I pulled another photo frame out of my handbag and put it there instead.

It was a picture of me. I had spent two hours trying to make it perfect for Edward. Now he'd surely want a piece of me!

Lying on the floor was a thousand dollar bill. I picked it up and stuck it in my handbag. Edward would never know. There was something wrong about the room. It smelled too much like… _Isabella. _I pulled out a bottle of perfume that Jessica had given me.

It was French _odor toilette. _I sprayed it around the room, until the bottle was empty. I pulled a bra out of my handbag. It was pink, with LAUREN MALLORY written on the tag. I chucked it onto the bed, knowing it would make Bella jealous.

I went into the toilet and sat on it happily. I waited, until I heard a loud 'PLOP' and my bum was suddenly wet.

**BPOV**

Lauren came running down the stairs, smiling maliciously.

"Well, Alice… um… I just wanted to tell you that um… Jessica has a date to prom now," she said, smiling flirtatiously.

"I do?" said Jessica, looking surprised. Lauren shot her another warning glance.

"_Yes_, Jessica. _Remember_?"

"Oh! Right," said Jessica, smiling fakely. "Well, we'd better be off. I want to run a layer of leave in conditioner through my hair before bed time."

Lauren rolled her eyes. She walked up to Edward, smiling, and pecked him on the cheek. My cheeks burned with fury, as she walked swiftly out the door with Jessica. Her bum was hanging out of her shorts. I looked over at Edward. He was frowning.

"Let's go and see what she did in your room," I said, as he took me up to his room. As I walked in, I choked and coughed.

Something smelled like toilet. A pink bra was on the bed, and the photo of Edward and me at prom had been replaced by an ugly one of Lauren.

Edward sighed deeply in frustration. I went into the bathroom and gasped. The toilet was overflowing with poo and toilet paper. I tore my eyes away from the sight, and ran into Edward's arms. He was holding a long stick, and used it to pick up Lauren's bra.

He shuddered as he used the stick to throw it out the window.

He muttered something that sounded distinctly like, 'Emmett's new chew toy'. I shuddered.

-

The next day, Mike arrived at Charlie's.

"Hi, Charlie. I was just going to take Bella to Seattle in my new car today. You don't mind me taking her, do you?" he had said.

"Not at all," Charlie had grunted. "But what about school?"

"We aren't missing anything," Mike had reassured him. Charlie had give in with a sigh, before turning to me.

"Bye, Bella," he had said.

And so I had had no choice but to endure a car ride with Mike to Seattle, who didn't stop babbling the whole way there.

"There's been a bit of a Diarrhea bug going around," he had told me, as we left Forks. "I had it myself yesterday. It was so horrible. Mom had to run down and get me some more toilet paper. Thirty-six rolls in one day! What a record! Lauren had it, too, apparently. Probably still does. These things don't just disappear…"

That explained the mess Lauren had left in Edward's toilet.

"My bottom was raw this morning. I think I'm constipated," Mike said to me. "Mom had to get a plumber in. I let out way too much at the one time, and clogged the toilet. She wasn't angry, though. She said I was just replying to the call of nature."

I groaned.

"Are we there yet?"

**LAUREN POV**

It was Tuesday, and I was glad to see that Edward and Alice arrived to school without Isabella. Giving Mike the idea to take Bella to Seattle was one of my best ideas yet!

In biology, our teacher decided to assign us new partners. It was just my luck that Edward and I were together. Mike and Isabella were together, too. Ha! Bet she wouldn't like that…

I heard Edward grumble under his breath as the teacher lapsed into the lesson. Now was my chance.

"This is much too easy," I said to him. He didn't even look at me! I rolled my eyes. I suddenly stood up, groaning.

"OH! OH! HELP!" I screamed, clutching my stomach. "I THINK I'VE… OH LORD! HELP!"

I glanced up as the teacher ran over to me, looking worried. I loved faking things. Injuries, illnesses, the lot.

"It could be your appendix… yes, Mr. Cullen, take her up to the office, quickly! Quickly! You'd better carry her, if you can…"

Edward got to his feet and lifted me into the air. We walked outside into the deserted hallway.

"OH! STOP! STOP! I THINK I'M GONNA BELCH!" I screamed. Edward dropped me on my feet and I ran over to the garden and made a fake belching noise. I stood up and groaned. I lifted my arms up. Edward didn't move.

"Um… pick me up!" I told him. He rolled his eyes.

"You can walk. I'm going back to biology. I don't want to miss the lesson. Besides, letting it all out is always the best way to heal yourself."

He turned around and walked back into the biology classroom. I growled under my breath. Edward was going to need a _lot _of convincing. But maybe it wasn't Edward that I needed to toy with, maybe it was Isabella…

**BELLA POV  
**

Driving to Seattle with Mike was definitely _not _my idea of fun. We were almost there now, and Mike was still babbling…

"Mom said I had constipation as a baby. I guess I've got it again. I'd better book an appointment with the Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew's a great doctor. He rubs me, and it makes it better. He makes me feel nice…"

I didn't know whether to laugh or warn Mike that you should never let people touch you. I shuddered as Mike placed a hand on my leg.

**LAUREN POV  
**

"Jessica! Will you _stop _stuffing your face for a moment!" I growled. Jessica stopped eating and turned to me.

"Oh, hi Lauren. Did you hear about Mr. Banner having it on with the sex education teacher Ms. Charlotte? I can't believe it! My mother knows his wife. They're good friends, actually. I'll let her know when she comes over for tea tonight. Isn't it great breaking up relationships?" she babbled. I rolled my eyes.

"Look, I've just had an idea… oh my gosh! Is that Tyler flirting with Angela?" I gasped. Jessica frowned.

"I thought you liked Edward!" she said. I sighed.

"Tyler's my backup plan incase I'm ever left dateless," I explained to her. She nodded in agreement.

"Maybe I'll ask Mike to my party, if he's going, that is."

"Oh, he's in Seattle with Isabella," I told her, trying to keep a straight face.

Her face fell. Her gossip searching eyes were replaced with furious ones.

"_What_?" she snarled. "She's already got _Edward_!"

"I know!" I agreed. "But don't worry. I've got a plan to make sure that Isabella Swan _never _messes with _us _ever again."

-

**Well, there you have it folks, the second chapter! Lol. Anyways, if you're reading, PLEASE REVIEW! There's no point in reading a story and not reviewing, you know. It's actually kind of rude. But anyways, hope you liked this chapter! Poor Bella…**

**X**

**-Bellapouts**


	3. Chapter 3

**LAUREN POV  
**

It was Tuesday. Only twenty more minutes until lunch, and trigonometry had never been more boring than it was now. I looked over at Isabella. She was trying very hard to ignore Mike, who was turned in his seat babbling away to her. The little witch already had Edward. Why the heck did she have to want every other guy as well?

I pulled out a pen and paper, scribbled down a few words, and then raised my hand, putting on a sad face. Mr. Brown stopped talking and peered down at me through his glasses.

"Something wrong?" he demanded. I rolled my eyes. Why was it that I always got the dopey teachers? I felt my ears fill with tears.

"Oh, sir! It's dreadful!" I whimpered, handing him the note. The teacher began to read the note out loud.

"'_Lauren, I hate you. Your hair looks horrible, and you remind me of a hobo that lives in my gutter. Get a life and stay away from Eddie. Lots of love, Isabella Swan,'" _the teacher read. A few people laughed, but were silenced when I glared at them.

Bella and Mike looked confused as Mr. Brown glared over at Bella.

"Ms. Swan, that's awfully mean. I'm sorry, but I'm going to be keeping you in at lunch for detention."

"But sir," protested Bella. "I had nothing to do with…"

She was silenced by Mr. Brown's glare.

I shot her a smug look. Her eyes narrowed.

Lunch was a good time for me. Isabella was on detention. I filled my tray with food and ran over to Edward and Alice's table in the cafeteria. I took a seat next to Edward, shuffling closer to him.

"Hi Edward! Hi _Alice_," I greeted. Edward grunted. I smiled. At least it was some sort of greeting.

"Where's Bella?" asked Alice. I snorted.

"_Isabella _has detention," I explained. Edward was pulling a muffin apart. Alice wasn't even touching her food. Probably anorexic or something…

Alice's eyes clouded over. I gasped, as she exchanged a glance with Edward.

"Wow, that was so cool!" I gasped. "You should have _seen _your eyes, Alice. How did you _do _that?"

Alice smiled slightly.

"What are you talking about? Are you… you know, feeling alright?"

I glared at her through a fake smile. I remembered why I was even here. I turned to Edward.

"So Eddie," I began. "You got plans for tonight?"

"Just a quiet night at home with Bella," he sighed. I grinned satisfactorily.

"Oh, great. Well Jessica and I are going to the movies later. You can come. Oh, and I guess you can come, Alice. Six PM sharp. Port Angeles. Don't stand me up."

I got to my feet, pecked him on the cheek and bounced away to my regular table.

"What the hell, Lauren?" demanded Tyler, as I took my usual seat at their table.

"What?"

"Sitting with the Cullen's? Kissing Edward on the cheek? Don't I mean _anything _to you?" he sighed, looking hurt. I looked over at Edward. He wasn't looking my way. I took Tyler's hand in mine.

"Tyler, you mean loads to me. Edward's just… a friend," I lied. Edward was _much more _than a friend! If my plan went well, he'd be my date to Jessica's eighteenth! And probably even Prom! Marriage, here we come!

"But Lauren," interrupted Jessica. "Didn't you say that Edward was really…"

I shot her a warning glance. She stopped talking and looked away. Tyler still looked suspicious, but he seemed to have relaxed a little. If my plan with Edward went wrong, I'd need a backup date for Jessica's party.

"So Lauren, why were you sitting at the Cullen table?" asked Angela. "In Bella's seat?"

I ignored her.

"Speaking of Bella," interrupted Mike, glaring at me. "She's got detention."

I rolled my eyes at him. Who gave a crap about what Mike thought? If he hated me, then I didn't care. I had Edward. Gorgeous, handsome, rich Edward Cullen.

"Oh, why's that?" inquired Angela.

"Oh, you have _got _to be kidding me!" I said loudly, trying to distract her. "Is it raining _again? _Why can't it give us a bit of sunshine once in a while?"

Angela looked outside, frowning.

"It's just cloudy," she announced. "No rain."

"Yet," muttered Ben. Angela laughed and pecked him on the cheek. Sighing, I looked back over at Edward's table. _Isabella _was back. I strained my ears to hear a bit of their conversation.

"He let me out early," Isabella was telling Edward and Alice.

"I saw," laughed Alice. "So why did you get detention?"

Isabella looked over at me. She blushed at being caught. She leaned in closer to Alice and lowered her voice, so that I was unable to eavesdrop on their conversation.

**Edward POV  
**

_I think we should go to the movies with Jessica and Lauren tonight._

I frowned at Alice, reading her thoughts. We were sitting in History. She was having a silent conversation with me in her head.

"No," I muttered. Alice rolled her eyes.

_Oh, come on, Eddie. Where's your spirit? Bella can come. We can figure out a way to make Lauren back off and leave you alone. Please, Eddie. Let me have some _fun _for a change!  
_

Looking into her mind and seeing her vision of tonight, I grinned.

"Of course I'll be going to the movies tonight," I muttered, smiling to myself.

**Lauren POV**

Of course a trip to the mall was in order! There was no way I was going to allow _Edward _to see me in anything that was not up to standards with the latest fashions. Especially if Alice was going! That girl always seemed to have the best-looking outfits. It was unlikely that Jessica would be able to outdress her. Why was it that someone as gorgeous as Edward could have Alice for a bitch of a sister? But then again, they aren't really related…

"What about this?" asked Jessica, distracting me from my thoughts of Edward. She held up a cute pink dress. It was nice, but not stunning and unique. What I was looking for had to be stunning and unique. My thoughts strayed to what Bella usually wore as I saw a jean store.

Bella always wore baggy pants. Old jeans or track pants. I wrinkled my nose in disgust. She always topped it off with a baggy shirt and messy hairstyle. Her fashion sense was _horrible_! It was non-existent, whatever that meant…

But most of the boys at school thought that Bella was quite attractive.

"Jess, maybe its time we faced our worst fears," I sighed.

Jessica gasped.

"No, I'm not going anywhere near a banana!" she screamed, making several passers by jump. I rolled my eyes, wondering if she was all there.

"Okay, being afraid of bananas is not what I'm talking about. You've seen how Bella dresses, haven't you?"

Jessica thought for a moment.

"Oh yes, her fashion sense is horrible. I mean, I thought _Angela _was bad, but…"

"Okay, Jessica, I get the point. It's time for us to dress like Bella."

Jessica gasped, and took a step back.

"I would _never _be caught _dead _wearing something that _she _would wear! How could I live _that _down?" she whined. "Alice is going to be at the movies tonight. Can you imagine the smug look that'll be on her face when she sees _me _wearing the sort of clothes that _Bella _wears?"

I highly doubted that Alice would care what _she _wore. No one cared about Jessica. I was the most popular girl in school. Jessica was just a dumb, useless admirer of mine.

"It's the only way," I said firmly. "Edward obviously likes Bella's nonexistent fashion sense if he's dating her. That means he'll like _me_ if I wear those sorts of clothes as well. Since you're coming as well, you'll have to do it too."

Jessica gave in with a sigh.

"I hope we don't see anyone we know at the movies tonight."

**BPOV**

Alice bounded into my room, making me jump, and sending sheets of history homework flying around the room. Alice grinned, taking a seat next to me on the bed.

"Clumsy Bella," she sighed to herself, shaking her head. I pouted.

"Edward has the decency to knock."

Alice laughed.

"_I _have the decency to use the door, and not climb through your window like some sort of superhero."

I smiled slightly.

"So where's Edward? He was supposed to be coming over this afternoon."

Alice pointed at her golden eyes.

"The boys have gone hunting," she explained. "We can't all go together anymore because Rosalie and Emmett fight over who caught what. And Rosalie doesn't like going on her own. So the boys go together, and then Rosalie and I go together."

I laughed.

"So what brings you to my bedroom?" I asked, putting my history books on the floor and sitting up. Alice's evil grin told me that she was planning something. It was probably something to do with Lauren and Jessica coming to the movies with us tonight.

"Well, after a couple of visions, I've learnt that Lauren and Jessica think that Edward likes your awful fashion sense. So they think that if they show up tonight wearing baggy pants and t-shirts, that Edward will like them for their awful fashion sense. It's a crazy theory."

Pouting, I stuck my tongue out at her.

"So anyway," continued Alice, "they're going to be wearing _really_ awful clothes, because they're trying to look worse than you, because for some crazy reason they think that Edward likes girls with no fashion sense. So what we're going to do, well, what I'm going to do, is dress you up look a pretty Barbie doll, so that they'll get the shock of their lives."

I groaned.

"Why will me looking like a Barbie annoy them?"

"They think you're going to turn up in your usual clothes. But you aren't. They'll be really surprised when they're standing there in their baggy, hobo clothes and you're looking like a Barbie."

It bothered me that she was insulting my fashion sense without even trying to be nice about it. Alice's eyes clouded over. She burst out laughing.

My bedroom door opened and Charlie poked his head in.

"You girls okay up here?" he asked, grinning. "I heard… laughing."

Alice smiled sweetly at him.

"We're fine, Charlie. You don't mind if I take Bella to the movies tonight with a couple of girls from school, do you?" she asked. Charlie's face lit up, obviously happy that I would be spending time with people other than Edward.

"Yeah, go ahead, Bells. Who are the girls you're going with?"

"Just Lauren and Jessica," I told him. His grin widened.

"Nice girls," he muttered. He waved, before closing the door and disappearing. I waited until I heard him descending the stairs before I spoke.

"What was the vision?" I asked, knowing full well that she wouldn't tell me. Alice grinned and got to her feet.

"Aw, Bella, I don't want to spoil it for you. I've just got to run home and get some outfits, and then I'll be right back," she promised. I groaned.

Weren't we a little old to be playing with Barbie's?

-

**Another chapter. (: I hate harping, but we sure to review, guys. It really makes my day. (: I read every single one of them. Update coming soon!**

x

**-Bellapouts.**


	4. Chapter 4

**BELLA POV**

It was Wednesday night, and Alice had convinced Edward and I to tag along on a little trip to the movies with Lauren and Jessica. Apparently she had had a very amusing vision.

"Alice!" I snarled, as she pulled my hair tightly and got hair spray in my eyes. Alice spun me around to examine my hair. She sighed and bit her lip.

"I suppose it'll have to do. It still tops the hairstyles Lauren and Jessica are going with," she muttered to herself.

"Alice, why do we have to go through this? Do you _enjoy _watching me suffer? I'm going to have to spend the whole night putting up with Lauren flirting with Edward!"

Alice pulled out another can of hair spray and began spraying my hair again. I coughed as I inhaled the fumes.

"Look, Bella. You know what your problem is? You don't know what it means to have fun. There's no way in hell that Edward's going to fall for Lauren. Surely _you_ know that. I've got a pretty good feeling that you might actually enjoy yourself tonight, because for once, Lauren and Jessica will be suffering."

"But…"

"Edward's going. You don't want him to be on his own with Lauren tonight, do you?" she sighed. "And I'll be there to back you up, as well. Let's just go and have a bit of fun tormenting them."

I grabbed the can of hair spray from her hands and threw it out the window.

"I was asthmatic when I was little," I pouted, getting to my feet and leaving her to fiddle with her own hair in front of the mirror.

I found Edward standing in front of the mirror in Rosalie and Emmett's room looking grumpy. It appeared as though Alice had used a few jars of gel to flatten down his hair. He looked very strange without his hair sticking up at the front.

He was trying desperately to try and get his hair back to normal, but Alice had obviously foreseen that he would try and used enough gel that he would be unable to if he tried.

"Flat hair doesn't suit you," I sighed, leaning against the doorframe. He tried one last time to mess up his flattened hair before grinning at me and looking me up and down.

"Wow, Bella. You look beautiful in that dress," he said, complimenting me on my attire. I blushed. I thought the dress was actually unnecessary. Did it really matter what I wore to some _movie_?

"How come you get to go in shorts and a shirt? You look like your normal self."

"Bella," sighed Alice, pushing past me and shaking her head at Edward who had taken up his position in front of the mirror again, fiddling with his hair. "Lauren already thinks that Edward is good-looking. We need to show her how gorgeous you are when you actually _try_ to dress up, and that she doesn't stand a chance going up against you."

Alice could be very convincing. I gave in. There was no getting out of this…

**Lauren POV  
**

"Eww, Lauren, you look like a boy!"

We were standing in front of the mirror looking at our hideous clothes for my date with Edward at the movies. It _was _a date, even if Alice and Bella were there as well.

I wrinkled my nose at our appearances. Jessica and I really _did_ look like boys. The whole point was to look like Bella usually did. So Jessica and I had gone down to the mall after school and purchased two baggy football shirts and baggy jeans.

As for our hair, we had just rubbed our hair on the ground and on trees in my backyard. It was messy, matted and full of dirt, just like Bella's usually looked like.

The whole point of tonight was for me to try and win Edward over by dressing up like a boy, like Bella usually did. I had made Jessica do the same, as it would be too painful to look hideous and have to see her in gorgeous designer labels.

"Bella doesn't look like this!" whined Jessica. "I've never seen her in a football shirt, and her hair doesn't look as matted and dirty as ours looks right now! It's not perfect, but she does brush it. But did you see Angela's hair this morning? She looked like she had spent the night in a garbage bin! Tyler was like…"

"Jessica!" I growled, annoyed at her babbling. "Your fashion sense is tasteless compared to mine. Trust me, this is what Bella will be looking like tonight, and that's apparently what Edward likes. Edward is going to be all over me tonight. Say goodbye to your boyfriend, Bella. He's _mine_."

I handed Jessica a wet baseball cap. She wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"What is this? Why is it _wet_?" she gasped in horror. I rolled my eyes. Bella could wear this stuff, so why couldn't we?

"I gave it to my dog to make it the quality of Isabella's hats. It's got holes in it, and it's covered in drool! Exactly what Bella wears!" I grinned.

Jessica sighed and put the hat on her head, shuddering.

"Bella's only ever worn a hat once or twice, Lauren. They were better than these stupid…"

I cut her off, and put my cap on.

"Let's do this," I sighed, grabbing my car keys off of the table and turning the lights off.

We arrived at the movies ten minutes later. I have to admit, I was wondering whether Bella would find a way to stop Edward from coming tonight. I mean, she knew as well as I did that he was in love with me and fantasized over being with me. She was so jealous of his love for me.

Which is one of the reasons why I was shocked when I saw Alice, Edward and Bella standing outside the theatre waiting for us.

The other reason was that instead of her usual football shirt and baggy pants and ripped cap, Bella was wearing a gorgeous designer baby blue dress that looked as if it would have cost thousands. Her hair looked as if it had been professionally done for a change, and it actually looked clean for once.

To top it all off, she was wearing a pair of black high heels with a gold buckle that I had been fantasizing about for months, but had been unable to afford. She was even holding a designer Gucci black handbag.

Isabella Swan, the ugliest person in the world, had somehow pulled off looking like a supermodel on the red carpet. I was distraught.

Was Bella that jealous of Edward's love for me that she had gotten Alice to dress her to look like I usually did?

Although, I had to admit, she looked a little better than I usually did.

Ugh! Bella was such a…

"Hey," greeted Alice, as we arrived before them. She looked up at my dirt-filled hair and turned her nose up in disgust.

Jessica and I were too shocked to say anything. To make matters worse, Bella was wearing a devilish little smirk, as if she had known that this would happen tonight. I glared at her.

Edward couldn't take his eyes off of her. I felt as if I could cry for weeks. In fact, seeing as I hadn't put makeup on, I could cry without making mascara run down my cheeks.

But I had to pull myself together. I was going to win Edward over, no matter what it took, and no matter how bad I looked.

I elbowed Jessica in the side. She winced in pain.

"Ow, Lauren, what was that for?" she muttered in anger. I elbowed her again. She glared at me, before putting on a fake smile and turning to Edward, Alice and Bella.

"Hey guys," she said, trying to sound happy, although I had a feeling that she wanted to cry almost as much as I did.

"Can we go in?" asked Bella, turning to Edward. "It's a little chilly."

Edward took off his coat and put it around her shoulders. My eyes filled with tears. Bella was going to pay for this. I bet she had been spying on us, had known that we would try and dress like her tonight, so had staged the whole thing so that she would look like a supermodel, and make us look like homeless people.

How I wanted to have Edward give me his coat…

We followed them inside and bought our tickets. I was so upset that it took me six minutes and thirty-three seconds to notice Edward's sexy flat hair. I felt like drooling. Edward was just so gorgeous!

"Jess, keep your cool. We won't let that stupid Isabella get in the way of our plans to get Edward as a date to your party," I muttered as Alice went to buy popcorn. Bella was still wearing Edward's coat. I wanted that coat. I needed it.

We walked into the movie, and I pretended to stumble up the stairs, knocking Bella into a passing old lady. I smirked as I took a seat between Alice and Edward.

Bella got to her feet, looking annoyed. She glared at me before taking a seat on the other side of Edward.

"So are you looking forward to Jessica's party this weekend?" I asked Edward, making conversation. Edward shrugged.

"Not really."

"But you're going, aren't you?" I pushed, crossing my fingers hopefully. Edward looked over at Alice and nodded.

"Well it's a shame, really. I'm dateless."

Edward didn't hear what I had said, because Bella had launched into conversation on the other side of him about how someone called Billy had broken his wheelchair trying to outrun her father. He sounded like a complete idiot. However, Edward seemed to be paying her his full attention.

"Who chose this movie?" came Alice's voice, shaking her head at the screen. Bella laughed.

"Me."

"What's with you and zombie movies?" snarled Jessica from the other side of Alice. Edward put his arm around Bella and sighed happily. I groaned.

"Something wrong, Lauren?" asked Alice sweetly. I rolled my eyes.

"Nothing," I muttered.

I had run out of comebacks, and conversation starters. I fell forward as someone kicked the back of my chair. I got to my feet and turned around in anger to see a boy who looked around ten laughing at me. I glared at him.

It looked as if he had come with his grandmother. She had fallen fast asleep in her chair, and was snoring loudly.

"Kid, kick my chair again and see what happens," I growled. The kid just giggled as I sat down again. Who would bring a stupid little kid like that into a zombie movie full of teens and adults?

Kick. Kick. Kick.

I turned around and stuck my finger up at him.

"Don't make me come up there, kid!" I snarled.

Kick. Kick. Kick.

That gave me an idea.

"I'm going to get a refill," I said, getting to my feet and walking past Alice.

"Don't you need your cup?" called Alice. I crouched down and crawled into the row behind us. The boy was still giggling when I reached him.

"Are you hungry?" I asked him. He frowned at me, before giggling even harder.

"You smell really bad. Are you one of those homeless crazy old men?" he giggled. I glared at him. He wrinkled his nose in disgust.

"Actually," he continued. "You look like the road kill dog I found on the side of the road last month and put under my bed."

I shuddered at the thought of him handling a decapitating dog and keeping it under his bed. It was a good thing I hadn't eaten, or I would have thrown up everywhere…

That gave me an idea!

"I'm just dressed up like this. But I have lots of money, and if you do me a little favor, I'll give you as much candy as you want," I muttered, holding up a fifty dollar note. His face lit up.

"Sure, I'll do whatever you want."

**BPOV  
**

"I'm back!" announced Lauren, retaking her seat next to Edward. It was a good thing that I had come tonight, or I would have missed out on seeing her look like a hobo.

The movie was so boring. Maybe I should have let someone else pick the movie. It was quite obvious that I didn't get out much…

I got to my feet and screamed as something cold and wet splashed onto my head. I turned around to see a little boy belching. I screamed as I realized that I was covered in chunky vomit. Why the hell hadn't Alice foreseen this?

"Shut up, you stupid kid!" yelled a girl down the front of the theatre.

"SHUT UP! THIS GUY'S GONNA GET EATEN BY ZOMBIES!"

"Some of us are trying to watch this epic failure of a movie!"

"We missed the blood and guts part!"

I honestly didn't give a…

"Oh my gosh!" squealed Lauren. "That is revolting. Bella covered in vomit, yuck! Edward, don't get too close to her."

Edward embraced me in a tight hug, and I heard Lauren muttering angrily to herself.

"Let's go home," he muttered. "Get you cleaned up."

Alice got to her feet, and I glared at her. I knew that she had seen that kid vomiting on me in her vision. Edward would have seen it to. I let go of his arm in anger and stalked off out of the cinema. Stares followed me as they saw that I was covered in vomit.

Knowing that I was covered in vomit, I sat in the front seat of the Volvo.

**Lauren POV**

It's not fair. I'm actually really smart. My plans are always fantastic, but for some unknown reason, they never work out how they _should_.

"I _hate _her," I growled as Alice and Edward raced after Bella. What did she have that I didn't? Money? No, judging by her usual clothes. Looks? Absolutely not. I was perfect, flawless. She was ugly. Uglier than my step mum, which is actually quite ugly.

Lucas, the kid who had helped me out, grinned at me.

"Did you _see _that? Someone should have videotaped that or something. I would have made youtube! Star of the century!"

I rolled my eyes and threw him a fifty-dollar note for his efforts at vomiting on Bella.

"Uh oh, after all that candy, I think I'm going to vomit again!" he squealed, getting to his feet. He raced off in the direction of the door. Pathetic.

"Sit down, hobo!" yelled someone in the crowd. I sat down and pouted.

"Don't worry about it, Lauren. I'm sure Edward likes you," said Jessica.

"What do you know?" I snarled. "Your party's in a few days, and I'm fresh out of ideas for getting Edward. What am I going to do about being dateless? Even _Tyler _will have a date by then!"

Jessica put a hand on my shoulder, and I brushed it off angrily.

"Don't worry, Lauren. I've got a plan. Chances are, it _will _work."

Perhaps there was still hope…

**There you go. :D Took me a while, but here's the next chapter. Review your feedback, please. I love to know what people think, and to get ideas. **

**-Bellapouts**


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